Thursday, June 20, 2013
May Our Paths Meet Again
On Tuesday before our practice ended, we sang May Our Paths Meet Again for one of the members who was leaving soon to the States to further his studies. So Tuesday was most probably his last night with us. I haven't heard that song in years, I don't even remember when was the last time we sang it. All I know is that each time I hear that song, I'll definitely sing along. And when I do that, I end up crying wtf. Tuesday, I wasn't sure if I'm crying because of the song, or because someone's leaving.. How do I tell? I've only been with this choir for less than 3 months, am I that attached to them yet? I don't think so. But the thought of someone who's leaving the choirs kinda sucks cause it's a big family. But everyone's still gonna be close and stuck like super dinosaur glue that's for sure. I think I'm starting to feel more comfortable with them..not all, but some. At least I'm really comfortable around Lilian, so that's a good start right? Hahah
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Freedom, let our voices soar high in the sky
On Saturday (1.6.13) I went to Johor with the choir. Andrea and Yat Kuan were my room mates for the night. I can conclude that Andrea is insane. Really, insane. How did she survive out of an asylum for so long, I have no idea LOL. But insane's good. I think we should all be sometimes, otherwise life would really be boring. Hotel room was nice too. They had just about everything we need, and I loved the bed. Comfy, fluffy bed. OH and they even had a box of condoms which I initially thought was candy wtf. Anyway, the competition was on Sunday, and we won first place. On the way back in the bus, our conductor asked each of us about our thoughts and feelings. Obviously I had no idea what to say since my thoughts are always in a mess. Usually it's easier for me to express myself through words of my own (Note: words of my own, which means I won't be using perfect english, AND some parts will still be a mess) rather than to speak on the spot. And with almost everyone staring at you while you speak. Seriously, it felt like they were gonna pounce on me the moment I end my freaking short speech.
To be honest, I have not spent much time with this choir cause I only joined them recently (about 2 months?). Each time I attend rehearsals, seeing how close they all are, like a family, it makes me feel happy, yet envious at the same time. I envy how they manage to stay together after all these years (after graduating for some), how they're so comfortable with each other. It makes me wonder what my future will be like. Will I still keep in touch with my friends? Or will we all part ways the moment we step out of school? Anyway, there are times where I feel left out, which is kinda sad. I feel like I don't fit in. I can't say that I never tried, but I can't say that I tried enough too. I tried to mingle with some of them, so far we're still in the stage of simple common topics and awkward laughs when there's nothing much to say. With the rest, I'm still stuck with the awkward 'Hi' and smile. It has never been easy for me to fit in with a new group of people. Usually it takes quite some time for me to get used to them, to be comfortable enough that I can be myself. I'm just that weird hahah.
All that aside, how or what did I feel during the 2 days with them for the competition? I would say that I felt really happy (OBVIOUSLY HAHAH), excited, but most of all, grateful. I felt really grateful for having the chance to join the choir. I felt grateful for having really awesome teachers, who never ceased to amaze/inspire me each time I meet them. I felt grateful for having the opportunity to learn from so many wonderful seniors.
I can't really tell you how grateful I am. The amount of gratitude I have towards everyone in this choir is just too much to be described with a few words or sentences. It's the type of feeling that you know what it is, but you just can't explain. How did I even manage to meet such awesome people? I really don't know. Sometimes, I think it's kinda fated LOL. If I was born a few years earlier, I might not be studying music right now, my whole life path would have changed, and I never would have met these wonderful people in my life. I'd probably end up becoming a lawyer or dancer. Maybe I would have went into ballet. Or maybe the other sperm carrying the Y-chromosome would have won the race, and I'd be a guy now, which might not actually be a bad thing since guys don't get periods and stupid cramps wtf. Anyway, back to the feelings part. I've learnt a lot from the competition, seeing how the other teams perform. During the competition, there was a feeling in me that I couldn't explain. Later only did I realise that it was a feeling of being there before, like deja vu. Not the whole same competition and venue type of deja vu, but my past experiences from my days in high school. I still remember how I felt when we won our first choir competition (first place) back then, and how we worked hard together as a team to bring up and maintain the standard of our school choir. We've came a long way since then. Liberta Voce was formed on 12.12.12 (I wasn't in the choir yet). The choir is still considered quite new (or young, hahah), and this was their first competition since they formed the choir. I hope that things will go smoothly for them (although there is bound to be ups and downs in the journey), and that the choir can build up steadily, and finally reach its peak. I guess I'm hoping to experience the same thing that happened to Seafield choir, in this choir. Does that make sense?
The waiting part (for the results) was the hardest. I was so freaking nervous there wasn't any butterflies in my stomach. You know why? Cause they're all drowned in the tsunami/hurricane that was going on in there, and sucked into the tornado that tore through the NicsOrgan Revolution war. I had to hug myself most of the time because if I didn't, I think my intestines would have poured out as though a samurai sword just slashed me. Exaggerated? Yes. But that's how I felt at that time. And when they announced the results, I cried. BUT only a little, VERY LITTLE. Controlled my emotions like a freaking military trained soldier wtf cause I didn't want to ruin my make up, and also cause we had to perform again. I still can't find a suitable word to describe my feelings pfft.
Does that explain my feelings/thoughts? No, not really. There's still a whole lot in my head, all jumbled up. And I can't really sort them out yet cause one moment this thought is flying through, next moment another thought zips past. That's how messed up I am HAHAH. All in all, I'm really grateful for everything that has happened. I just hope that the awkwardness will pass so that I can fit in just fine. I think I'm gonna love everyone of them, as in really, really, really love them because they're just that awesome. =)
To be honest, I have not spent much time with this choir cause I only joined them recently (about 2 months?). Each time I attend rehearsals, seeing how close they all are, like a family, it makes me feel happy, yet envious at the same time. I envy how they manage to stay together after all these years (after graduating for some), how they're so comfortable with each other. It makes me wonder what my future will be like. Will I still keep in touch with my friends? Or will we all part ways the moment we step out of school? Anyway, there are times where I feel left out, which is kinda sad. I feel like I don't fit in. I can't say that I never tried, but I can't say that I tried enough too. I tried to mingle with some of them, so far we're still in the stage of simple common topics and awkward laughs when there's nothing much to say. With the rest, I'm still stuck with the awkward 'Hi' and smile. It has never been easy for me to fit in with a new group of people. Usually it takes quite some time for me to get used to them, to be comfortable enough that I can be myself. I'm just that weird hahah.
All that aside, how or what did I feel during the 2 days with them for the competition? I would say that I felt really happy (OBVIOUSLY HAHAH), excited, but most of all, grateful. I felt really grateful for having the chance to join the choir. I felt grateful for having really awesome teachers, who never ceased to amaze/inspire me each time I meet them. I felt grateful for having the opportunity to learn from so many wonderful seniors.
I can't really tell you how grateful I am. The amount of gratitude I have towards everyone in this choir is just too much to be described with a few words or sentences. It's the type of feeling that you know what it is, but you just can't explain. How did I even manage to meet such awesome people? I really don't know. Sometimes, I think it's kinda fated LOL. If I was born a few years earlier, I might not be studying music right now, my whole life path would have changed, and I never would have met these wonderful people in my life. I'd probably end up becoming a lawyer or dancer. Maybe I would have went into ballet. Or maybe the other sperm carrying the Y-chromosome would have won the race, and I'd be a guy now, which might not actually be a bad thing since guys don't get periods and stupid cramps wtf. Anyway, back to the feelings part. I've learnt a lot from the competition, seeing how the other teams perform. During the competition, there was a feeling in me that I couldn't explain. Later only did I realise that it was a feeling of being there before, like deja vu. Not the whole same competition and venue type of deja vu, but my past experiences from my days in high school. I still remember how I felt when we won our first choir competition (first place) back then, and how we worked hard together as a team to bring up and maintain the standard of our school choir. We've came a long way since then. Liberta Voce was formed on 12.12.12 (I wasn't in the choir yet). The choir is still considered quite new (or young, hahah), and this was their first competition since they formed the choir. I hope that things will go smoothly for them (although there is bound to be ups and downs in the journey), and that the choir can build up steadily, and finally reach its peak. I guess I'm hoping to experience the same thing that happened to Seafield choir, in this choir. Does that make sense?
The waiting part (for the results) was the hardest. I was so freaking nervous there wasn't any butterflies in my stomach. You know why? Cause they're all drowned in the tsunami/hurricane that was going on in there, and sucked into the tornado that tore through the NicsOrgan Revolution war. I had to hug myself most of the time because if I didn't, I think my intestines would have poured out as though a samurai sword just slashed me. Exaggerated? Yes. But that's how I felt at that time. And when they announced the results, I cried. BUT only a little, VERY LITTLE. Controlled my emotions like a freaking military trained soldier wtf cause I didn't want to ruin my make up, and also cause we had to perform again. I still can't find a suitable word to describe my feelings pfft.
Does that explain my feelings/thoughts? No, not really. There's still a whole lot in my head, all jumbled up. And I can't really sort them out yet cause one moment this thought is flying through, next moment another thought zips past. That's how messed up I am HAHAH. All in all, I'm really grateful for everything that has happened. I just hope that the awkwardness will pass so that I can fit in just fine. I think I'm gonna love everyone of them, as in really, really, really love them because they're just that awesome. =)
Liberta Voce <3
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